I couldn't really care less about my studies when I was in school. I used to have this personal mindset that my parents could get me anywhere, or that I’ll become rich and famous just by auditioning. I let myself have an easy mindset so that I could get out of studying and just sleep all day long. I kept telling myself that “Directors and Producers wont care about my theory marks at all” which made me not put any effort into the theory side of the arts. It's understandable that a big percentage of people hate writing, and I did, so that really threw me off when it came to writing about drama or music.
After 2 years went by I’ve realised that I was the lowest in my drama class when it came to theory. I was stuck getting U’s and E’s because I was never really interested in the writing part and just wrote whatever in order to have the work given in to avoid detention or getting yelled at. I never was happy, but I still didn't do anything about it, and I let the bad grades define me. GCSE's were approaching and that's when I started to panic, I told myself that “Even though I’ll get a good grade at practical, the bad grade of the theory would pull me down and make my final grade a D”. I did not want to open up my results and see that the subject that's most important to me being the one I fail. I did not want my parents to look at me and be disappointed that their daughter who wants to become an actor couldn't even do drama.
So I pushed myself. I paid attention in all the extra classes Ms. McCue was giving us (which I'm very thankful for by the way), I re-read scripts, I analysed all the performances I did such as "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time" and wrote practice essays and handed them in. I tried my best when school was still in session but I still kept getting the same grades. I started to doubt myself and had a mindset that I did not deserve a good mark because of all the slacking previously, but that didn't break my stride, I kept going.
The day of the drama exam came up and I was confident. I knew what I was doing and I know that I have tried my best and pushed myself to the limit and walked out of the exam knowing that I’ve done it.
I have never cried tears of joy before.
When I opened up my results I noticed that my best subject was Drama. That was the only A I got (don't worry I did pass my other subjects). My family were proud of me, I was proud of myself (and I hope McCue was proud of me too)! The whole moral of this story is not to give up, even though it may seem like you're going to get nowhere or you're never going to do good, never give up. Because if I did, I wouldn't be happy, studying in the best school in Australia. Just remember. Giving up is never the solution.